there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
