I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
