He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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