Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
