Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
