theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
