Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
