I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
