She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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