My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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