I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
