I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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