We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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