Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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