Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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