found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
