If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i drank out of a bidet.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just gargled with NyQuil
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