it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
