You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
