If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
