I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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