so explain again why im purple
no
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
