somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
