How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
