Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
