can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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