Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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