Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize