You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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