I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
