I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
kristin has been a bad kristin
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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