My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
