she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
