I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
