My first STD was from a foam party
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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