"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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