oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
