belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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