Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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