I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
