I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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