I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize