Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
