omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
