eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
