In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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