Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
