Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
