Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
