When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
