I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
handjob tips. give me some.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
