omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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