pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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