I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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