My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
