he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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