i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
